Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
