Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
