you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
