I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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