no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
