So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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