he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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