Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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