I think I am morally bankrupt
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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