Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well you can't waste a boner
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
