Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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