Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
