ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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