i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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