dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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