You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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