I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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