I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
