i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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