its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
