Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
