Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
