My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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