the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
please come you make the beer taste better
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
