if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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