why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize