you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
