so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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