I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
