talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
