i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
