I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
