my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
