I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
