it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
