so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
