Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
