my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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