I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
