Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
