I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
