What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
