She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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