You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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