mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
