Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
