you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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