if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
