I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
