you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
