Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
