well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
