i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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