we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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