So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize