I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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