Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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