Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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