Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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