Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
