you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
