dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
