i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
